Published April 25, 2011
http://supermomheather.blogspot.com/2011/04/why-parenting-teenagers-is-privilege.html
Teenagers. This word is often synonymous with rabble rousers, disrespectful, lazy, sullen, disaffected youth. I want to insert my own words if you don't mind. Innovative, creative, inspired, energetic, passionate, curious, sensitive.
The ages 13-19 are a tumultuous time in a person's life. There is a rollercoaster of emotions, hormones and decisions being thrown at them at every moment. Not just what do I want to be when I grow up, who do I want to be with, but WHO do I want to be?
There is much about life I have yet to learn but one thing I know very well and that is teenagers. My home is the veritable mecca for Woodford County teens. Our parties are legendary, this is true, but on any given day you will see my front door has become a revolving one..boys go in, girls come out, 3 go in, 4 come out..and so on. On weekends I do not venture to guess who may be staying the night, or how many. Just three weeks ago I made brunch for the kids who stayed and hundreds of pancakes plus 3 packs of bacon later.. there were no leftovers. My cellphone is filled with numbers of parents, of texts from kids who need to vent, need a ride, or need to ask advice. My Facebook is filled with teens as well. I'm their second momma.
At every party we have I meet dozens of parents who all think I'm nuts for letting my house be overrun by teenagers...theirs included. There are moms who will ask why on earth I'd want to spend my life without a break from teenagers. My response? "Are you kidding? This is great." I love it. I love them. Who else on earth brings so much passion and excitement to life? Whether it's celebrating the Packers; win at our Super Bowl party, 1 am muffin baking marathons, or being curled up in my chair listening to a boy figure out how much he loves a girl... it is a fascinating experience.
To parent a teenager is to be allowed a secret window into the deep world of an incredible young adult. We have the privilege to influence the morals of a person, to encourage the spirit of a seeker, to create a lifelong bond with an amazing soul. We are allowed to cheer on a budding athlete, to motivate a young scholar, to be a fan of a rockin' rebel.
Teens face more obstacles than ever before...it's not just drugs, sex, and rock and roll folks. The drugs are more readily available than ever before, this is true, but there are eating disorders, cyber bullying, choking games, oral sex parties, teens with hit lists bringing guns to school. Add alcoholic, drug addicted, or abusive parents and wow. Even the sober parents throw in roadblock. There are neglectful parents, negative life draining parents, and those who want to be "friends" with their teens and set no limits in life.
Being a teenager is difficult at best. Your friends are pulling you this way..your parents that way. Your hormones are dragging you you here..your teachers are dragging you there. Girlfriends break your heart, guy friends turn on you and chase the girl. Boys are trying to learn to be strong men, often with no positive male figure in their lives. Girls are trying to become women in a world where even the Disney Channel pushes slutty clothes and unrealistic relationships.
As a parent, it is too late to control these young adults, and wrong to smother them. They have to be allowed to make decisions..They have to learn from their mistakes. We can't live for them, or vicariously through them. We can only be here to support their decisions, offer advice in those quiet moments, and give hugs freely as they accept them. We can text or Facebook them when talking will lead to embarrassment causing a verbal shut down. We can open the doors to their friends. We can open our minds to their possibilities. We can encourage their uniqueness . We can take them to youth group, to ballgames, to concerts and retreats. Most of all, we can pray. Pray for their hearts, their futures, their girlfriends, for anything and everything.
Love your teens. Every day counts. It's a privilege that will be taken away soon enough by time. Don't waste it.
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